How Not To Write a Bestselling Novel (An Aspiring Writer’s Cautionary tale )

Bestselling Novel

Have you ever gotten a fascinating story idea for a novel you’ve been trying to write for a long time while watching a movie late at night?. Have you ever been struck by a potential character arch for your novel as you come across a meme on social media? Did you experience a moment of epiphany about your novel while sipping your favorite latte? If that’s the case, you’ll enjoy this blog because you’re doing everything but writing!

Hello fellow writers, Instead of discussing how to write a book, we will concentrate on how not to write one in this blog.  But, first, we’ll go over a bunch of nonsense that writers get themselves into that may appear beneficial in the book writing process but slows them down tremendously.

#1 Post about it on Social media

Clean your desk, install some aesthetically pleasing props on the table, lay out several A4 pages, and set out a dairy with a unique cover and some pens. Take a photo and share it on your social media channel to promote your new book. Oh, wait.. Do not forget to choose the appropriate filter for your snap and trending hashtags. Once you are done posting, forget about actually writing about your book and spend endless hours scrolling through your feed. That will help you in never making it to crafting a rough draft.

#2 Make a Pinterest Board

I consider myself a Pinterest junkie.  Discovering some interesting snaps and materials for your book on Pinterest can be pretty beneficial, but it can also be highly time-consuming. Entering the world of Pinterest is like falling into a black hole; you find yourself drawn to it more and more. Using Pinterest feels like a few minutes when you start with Pinterest, and not until the end of the day do you realize that you have spent a whole day on Pinterest. So avoid spending your working hours on Pinterest unless you never want to finish your book. And if that is on your agenda. Then, Pinterest is the way to go!

#3 Spare The Time Of Creating An Outline For Your Book

The best way to never even begin writing your book, let alone finish it, is to rule out the possibility of making an outline for it. Crafting your premises, determining the theme of your book, and constructing the plot can speed up your writing process, and you may end up finishing the book before the deadline. However, if you want to squander all of your book-writing time, you should ignore all of these fundamental concepts that a writer swears by.

#4 Collect Characters Aesthetics

Collecting info and graphics for your characters on the internet is a terrific approach to bringing them to life rather than describing your characters. Gathering a bunch of photographs about your characters and arranging them in a collage might be a great way to get ideas while writing them down. However, how much is too much? There is a wealth of content available for anything and everything. If you sit down and keep collecting material for your novel and characters rather than starting to write about it. You can end up with insufficient storage and an empty script. Go on organizing folders with pictures on each character arch and forget about the writing. You would make a professional procrastinator if not a well-renowned writer.

#5 Wait for Inspiration to knock at your door

This is one of the best ways not to write a book. Finding Inspiration is like finding a 100 dollar bill in the pocket of your ripped jeans that you haven’t worn in years. You can’t wait for inspiration to find its way to you. The same goes for writing. Sitting down at a table and waiting for inspiration to come to you before penning down your thoughts will take you years to start writing; worse, you will never finish it. IRL.

#6 Edit your Previous Work unless your eyes bleed out

The best way to not write a book is to keep editing the previous chapters or paragraphs instead of finishing the book first. Excessive editing will most likely result in your book never progressing because you sit there obsessing over making your story flawless. Spending days or weeks obsessing over editing is a complete waste of time, so many seasoned authors forgo editing until the first draft of the book is finished. So if you wish to write and finish your book, stop with the editing. Your first draft is going to be shit anyway.

#7 Never Schedule a writing time

This is an excellent method to make sure your book is never done. If you don’t schedule your writing time, you’ll be forced to rely completely on your free time. And, because you usually spend your leisure time collecting beautiful pictures for your books and binge-watching Netflix shows you have already watched a dozen times, you’ll probably never write a single paragraph. If you don’t want to write a book, this is a master plan. On the flip side, if you want to finish your book, you must consider fixing a schedule for your writing time and stick to it. Choose your weekdays for writing and weekends for relaxing.

#8 Create a bunch of playlists that reminds you of your book

Music works in mysterious ways. It may set the tone for any creator.  For readers, even for writers.  Make many playlists that remind you of your book, umm…., that is not written yet. If you are adamant about not finishing your book, turn to the internet and immerse yourself in the world of music, and select the perfect songs for inspiration. Spend hours choosing a playlist for your book,  which is a process that never ends. On a serious note, there are a lot of writers that choose music for inspiration, but if you are willing to write a book, make sure to spend limited time on curating a playlist for motivation and more time on writing. That is when you want to write something for your book.

#9 Reach out to an editor

The best way to not write a book is to reach out to editors for every page you write before finishing your book. Spend all of your money on editors who have no idea what you want the book to be about. That will destroy your originality and eliminate all chances of finishing the work. If you have a lot of money but no desire to write a book, this method might be helpful.

#10 Cover Design is more critical than writing

This is one of the most innovative ways to procrastinate your writing task. Open up your design software and spend hours creating a cover for your book, which you think is more important than finishing your book first. Remember, finishing your book is more important than other secondary activities that will undoubtedly lead to no results when finishing your book.

#11 Overthink till your mind explodes

This idea is indeed a deal-breaker, and it can be of real help if you just wish to delay the writing process and forget about it altogether. Overthinking kills the inspiration and curiosity of the writer. If you want a sure-shot idea on ending your writing career, let alone writing a book, then make sure to overthink every time.  But if by any chance you want to write a book, try to calm down a little bit and take one step at a time.

Last but not least. The most important thing to follow to avoid becoming a writer is to try writing about how not to write a book… *Awkward Silence*

Leave a comment if you have your make-believe concepts on being a non-writer!



By Manjari Gupta

Manjari Gupta’s claim is to be a paper-cut survivor. A pro at making bookmarks out of torn bills, tickets , clothing tags and gifted flowers. She also loves writing about books, love and life.

One thought on “How Not To Write a Bestselling Novel (An Aspiring Writer’s Cautionary tale )

  • Nishita Acharya -

    Well written and thoughtful pointers. I can personally relate to points 5 and 7 😁

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